Pain in the Butt
by JuniperWrites
Summary: Boys will play, sometimes they will pay, Who falls harder, Lulu or Dante?


Pain in the Butt

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in the show, or the show itself, but I do own an imagination and this is what happens when I let mine run free^^ Enjoy, and please review!!

Summary: When boys will play...sometimes they will pay! But maybe it's Lulu that has to pay this time! read and find out WTF I am talking about!

How could he say no to Morgan? The kid was baseball and hotdogs and innocence. He was also the boss' son which meant saying no could get him an ass-kicking so here he was coaching the first PC Stickball team. He looked around at the foliage surrounding their playing field and could not help the feeling of familiarity with the green mini bushes. For some reason he shuddered at the thought of them but he couldn't remember why.

"Dominic go long!" Morgan shouted.

"I'm open, I'm open!" he yelled, running backward. He hadn't realized how close to a puddle he was until it was too late and he slipped in it.

He almost cursed as he flailed back but then he remembered the ages of his newly-made team so he kept it to generalities. As his butt hit the seemingly soft ground, he remembered his fear of the bushes: Pricker bushes, to be exact.

"Dominic! Are okay?" his cute little friend asked in concern as soon as he was right in front of the man.

"Oh yeah. Hardly felt it! Let's keep playing." DAMN! His mind reeled. How could he keep on playing with the little bastards still in his backside? But play he did. For one more hour! Finally the kids all went home and Dom almost did the same thing but first he pulled all the prickers out that he could on his own. He missed a few but the thought of going to the hospital made him weep inside. Epiphany! he shuddered.

So off to Lulu's he dragged himself. How could she turn down a dying man's final wish? He beamed at the thought.

Lulu Spencer had just finished a paperback when she saw it. A lone man's sock. She smiled knowing full well who the sock belonged and why it was there. Okay so she had an idea as to the why but she'd find out soon enough she was sure. Just as she was heading to turn off the light for the night to go to bed she heard a knock on the door.

"Oh crap. Who could that be?" she drudgingly went to check the peephole and was met with the hurt-looking gaze of one Dominic Perelli, or Dante Falconeri to the ones who knew he was really an undercover cop.

She sighed as she opened the front door to let the sock-owner in. "Good evening Dante."

"Uh can you call me Dominic as long as I am out in the hallway? My cover, remember?" he said leaning on his left leg. That was odd.

"What's wrong, Dominic?" she asked leaning against the doorframe.

"Can you let me in, please?" he flashed That smile.

"Sure." she shrugged and melted. She couldn't help but notice that he kinda slouched. She grew a bit restless not knowing what was wrong.

"Um I was getting ready for bed. Why don't you sit on the couch and tell me why you are here?" she said politely, sitting down herself.

"Oh, I'm fine standing."

"Ha! I knew it! Something's wrong with your butt, what is it?" she said practically jumping up off the couch.

He blinked at such an abrupt response, so to the point. "Well, since we are being blunt here, I was playing stickball with some of the neighboring kids and fell backwards onto a pricker bush."

For a few moments she kinda just stood there staring at him blankly then burst in a fit of giggles. "I'm so sorry, I hate pricker bushes but in your butt? Only you Dante."

"Now you sound like my ma." he folded his arms. "Look, I need your help." he said seriously.

"Excuse me? What help exactly?" she said, one beautiful eyebrow raising skeptically, arms half-crossed.

"Well, I got the biggest ones out but...well..." he trailed off.

"Uh, no, go to the hospital or Olivia can help you." Lulu said putting her hands up in a no-way gesture.

"Nah, Johnny's over at ma's and Epiphany? Come ON!" his sexy shoulders shrugged up while he closed his eyes tightly.

"Oh geez. Well, I guess, let's see it." she said less than enthusiastically.

"I hate tweezers. Can you use your teeth?" he asked, winking.

"Do you want the prickers out or in more?" she responded smiling evilly.

"Okay nurse gorgeous," he said turning aroung to pull his pants down.

At first she stared, then when she got her bearings back she bent a little bit to get a good look at...the prickers. They were in there pretty good! "How could you have managed to play for a whole hour while these things were in your backside?"

"It wasn't easy. I had to be manly for them and men don't wince at pain, right?"

Neither of them said anything for about a minute. It was Dante who broke the silence. "Enjoying the view?" he asked

"No just figuring the size of tweezers I'll need to accomplish the deed." and with that she left the room leaving him bare-assed and slightly scared. He really does hate needles, in or out.

When she was in the bathroom alone she released a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. In truth she knew exactly what size tweezers to grab, actually that was an excuse. She needed time to piece her emotions back in check. He did have a marvelous butt. She thought his chest was fine but, whoa!

He, on the other hand, couldn't figure out how he was going to get back to normal. His member was fully aware of how easily it could be for it to be satisfied. Lulu kissed HIM sometimes, too, so obviously she liked him a bit at least. How could he have been so stupid as to go to her for his...problem? Last time she had stood by him in the hospital and before that when he got beat up. She had the obvious solution yet he wished the prickers hadn't been...there.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, she emerged from the bathroom with a tube of ointment.

"Orajel?" he asked when he got a look at the name.

"A friend told me it works for things other than teeth so I figured it couldn't hurt to try." she shrugged

"Well, I guess since we are here we might as well get this over with. Can you distract me? I don't want to think about what you are doing back there." he nearly pleaded.

"Sure. Have you decided what you are going to do once you take down Sonny?" she asked a bit shakily while she applied some orajel, gently.

He winced a bit but his voice remained steady. "Well, I was thinking I may have to go back to Bensenhurst." he almost swore there was a pause in her work, but then realized that she was just putting the cap back on the tube.

"Oh, well, I'm sure there are plenty of pretty girls who will be happy to hear that." she said kind of sharply, but he didn't catch it.

"Of course if I can be persuaded otherwise I may reconsider." he would've said if she hadn't chosen that particular moment to pull on the first pricker, HARD.

"One more." she said a bit forcefully as she pulled the second one out. "All done." she spat before she stormed back to the bathroom to disinfect the tweezers and put it and the tube back. She glared at her reflection. How could he be so dense and obtuse?

While she was in the bathroom he was wondering what she was thinking. She can't possibly think that he would actually leave without knowing exactly where he stood with her? So, he checked for blood...no, then pulled his pants back on. He carefully sat down on the couch and rested one arm on the top to position himself so she knew without a doubt that he wanted to discuss this further.

When she finally emerged she grabbed two beers from the fridge and sat down beside him. "Why?" she asked.

"Why shouldn't I go home and tell my boss that I caught him and want to stay here? Unless you can give me a reason why I should go?" he asked while he took a sip of beer, fixing her with a sidelong gaze.

After a few seconds she spoke. "Well, there's your mom that loves and misses you."

"And?"

"And, Morgan looks up to you."

He threw his arms up and grunted. "God woman why can't you admit that something's started between us?"

"Fine. You want me to tell you that the only reason I don't reciprocate your feelings is because of what may happen when Sonny finds out? Or that I have no problem with you being in the mob or a cop? Or the fact that I'm afraid that you'll grow bored with me?"

He just stared at her. Then he put his arm around her. "Okay then. That's better than deflection. First, If you want to continue as we have been until he finds out, I'm okay with that. I am a cop and nothing'll change that, ever. And finally, how could I ever be bored with you, huh?" he gently kissed the top of her head. "That will never happen because you will always be you. Taking care of me, being here to listen even when I'm telling you about taking down your friend. I am glad you found out. I wouldn't want anyone else knowing."


End file.
